How to Deal with Aggressive Chickens
Most people don’t think of chickens as being overly aggressive. They mostly just wander around their coup making weird noises and pecking at the ground. But what happens when they start pecking at each other or, even worse, at you or your children?
Why Chickens Become Aggressive
There are a few reasons why a chicken might become aggressive. Certain breeds, for example, are more prone to being territorial. Hormones and a stressful environment may also be to blame.
The most important thing to keep in mind with chickens is that they are terribly stupid.They have no ability to make plans or hold grudges, so pecking at you is hardly personal. That being said, it can be very irritating when you are up at the crack of dawn having to deal with an ungrateful turd of a chicken that literally bites the hand that feeds it.
So What Can I Do If My Chicken Is Biting Me?
Luckily, there are ways to deal with an aggressive chicken who ignores the, ahem, pecking order. The following is my favorite, because it is so easy and the end result is incredibly satisfying.
Recipe for Homemade Chicken Stock
Equipment Needed: Extremely sharp knife Large stock pot Cutting board
Ingredients - Chicken Stock
1 whole chicken carcass
2 celery stalks
1 yellow onion
1 head of garlic
4 sprigs fresh thyme
2 whole cloves
8 cups of filtered water (enough to completely submerge the chicken)
Directions - Make the Stock
Humanely kill your asshole chicken and remove the innards and the feathers.
Separate out the breasts and thighs and remove the skin. Put these in the refrigerator for later.
Place the chicken carcass into a large stock pot.
Roughly chop your celery, carrots, onion, and garlic. You do not need to remove the paper from the onions or garlic. Put the vegetables into the stock pot with the chicken and cover completely with water.
Add your thyme sprigs.
Bring the water to a boil and then reduce the heat to low. Cover, and let it simmer for 6-8 hours. If the water level is getting too low, you can add more.
Strain out your stock into a heat-safe container. You can use it right away or save it for another day. It will keep up to two weeks in the refrigerator and up to 3 months in your freezer.
After Stock is made, move onto the soup!
Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup
Now that you've made this wonder
Ingredients for Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup
2 chicken thighs and 2 chicken breasts
1 lb egg noodles
2 stalks of celery
1 yellow onion
8 cups of the wonderful chicken stock you've just made
Kosher salt to taste (1 tablespoon or so)
Freshly ground black pepper
2 bay leaves
2 tsp of chopped fresh thyme (or 1 tsp dried)
Directions for Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup
Heat a large pot over medium heat.
Finely mince your celery, carrots, and onion.
Add a tablespoon of olive oil to the pot and sauté the vegetables for three or four minutes, until softened.
Put in the chicken breasts and thighs and immediately cover with the 8 cups of chicken stock.
Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to medium.
Add the bay leaves.
After 30 minutes, check the chicken. If it is cooked through, remove it, and shred the pieces with a fork. Leave the thigh bones out, and return the shredded chicken to the broth.
Add your egg noodles and cook for another 20 minutes, or until they are soft.
Add the salt, pepper, and thyme.
Enjoy your piping hot and delicious bowl of revenge with a crusty baguette or fresh salad.
- Let me know how you like the recipe in the comments below!
C.K. wissinger says
Note to all farm animals: you fall out of line, you fall into the pot!
John Reynolds says
This is true, we don’t hold back our feelings. That’s what I’ve learned in this process, animals turn into food when they cross the line. It’s natural, and they’re tasty.